Back from Asheville

Woo. Yesterday, after a six hour (instead of a four) drive, me and a couple of Kikis got back from visiting the rest of Cabaret Kiki band in Kiki: The Ballet Edition w/ Terpsicorps Dance Theatre in Asheville. I'm still kinda wiped. A ridiculous amount of fun crammed into about 2 days. Plus, I drove 3/4 of the time, and that's tiring.

But wow. I'd never been to a-ville before, and it's pretty cool, like maybe Paris and San Francisco combined and moved to a mountaintop -- but I've never been to either, so it's a guess based off others' comments and my minimal knowledge. Defintitely a hippie vibe, lots of organic food. Like on the radio, there was a "win a t-shirt" thing and they specified and stressed the fact that the tee was 100% organic cotton. Certainly different from Charleston, and on the other side of the spectrum from Cedartucky. Lots of buskers, too, which was really neat.

Kiki done by Terpsicorps was waaay different. My costumes mostly weren't used. Some of the band wore my stuff, others do their own adaptations, nothing out of the ordinary in that respect. But the dancer costumes were clearly inspired by mine but skimpier and w/ lycra and sparkles. I could see my concepts, but they were not mine. I didn't feel like it was my show. :( It was amazing, don't get me wrong, but I felt pretty far removed from it and it sucked when people were like, "this and this and this costume were better." I designed that show from 800 miles away and without even hearing all the music, let alone seeing any choreography. I think I did damn good, considering the circumstances. I loved how it turned out. I'd made a conscious decision in my designs to have elegant costumes that were suggestive perhaps, but didn't show a ton of skin. I didn't know who was comfortable wearing what (I'd not met anyone, remember I was on the other side of the country), and it's also my personal opinion that covering the body and hinting at what's underneath is sexier than leaving little to the imagination.

Yet in Asheville, the choreographer/designer had a springboard: she'd done some of the choreography, heard all the music, seen rehearsals, seen our production, and seen what I'd done with the costumes. It's easier to improve upon things than to come up with them from scratch. Or that's what I tell myself.
I feel that in some capacities I failed. Like I should've thought to not do a gown for the Mighty Hermaphrodite. I always wanted a gown, but it would've read better on stage if it were more of a clear difference like in the Ballet Kiki... I guess that was the thing that bothered me most. The other designs, I mostly saw where she was going with things and it was similar to my stuff. The half/half costume was always the most challenging part of the show-- I knew it would be from the start. Fortunately, I had a brilliant cutter/draper/tech extraordinaire to help me to achieve my vision. Unfortunately, I'm not a wig tech and it was a struggle for me until Kerri, a fabulous hair goddess stepped in and saved the day. I was so glad to have her around. I knew what I wanted but lacked the knowledge to reach the final result.

It's stupid, but it really bothers me. I feel like everyone liked the Ballet Kiki costumes better than mine, and that's sad b/c what do I have then? If Heather designs/choreographs and does everything, she has that. I don't have designing then if a choreographer is better than me. I don't have singing -- who cares about operetta, no one cares if I can sing that. Regular singing -- well, let's just say my friends are the most unbelievably talented folks I've met.
I'm just feeling insecure now. Like, everyone else has their area that they're extraordinarily talented in, and I can't hold a candle to it. What am I good at? I don't even know anymore. Jack (Jill?) of all trades, master of none, perhaps.

I didn't feel like this earlier, but as I've been writing this, it's made me sad.

I should be happy. I've got a new job starting on Wednesday. I'm finally painting (still!) my room so I can feel settled. I live in a beautiful city w/ amazing friends. yet I'm not happy right now. alas. maybe tomorrow. maybe this melancholy will lift as quickly as it rolled in...

encouragement is appreciated. good night.

I'm slack about posting... whoops.

Wow, it's been over a month. Guess I kinda forgot I had a blog. Time flies when you're having fun, ya know?

More Kiki shows: one on May 9th, one last week at Club Pantheon. Things have been going really well, except some costumes went MIA somewhere between Chucktown and Asheville. which sucks. So I hunted down new costumes as best as I could. (and then, God bless her, Cary found a great thrift store dress for one of the dancers, so I could stop freaking out about not finding one at the mall that lacked slutty stores. All I needed was a slutty store... silly citadel mall...)

We had a drag queen in the Pantheon show. She was gorgeous and soooo amazingly talented. I wish I would've gone back to my car and gotten my camera, but I'd already made an emergency run back to Kiki Kostume HQ for extra pieces, so I wasn't keen on leaving again. Blast. I should be better about taking pictures, b/c the process is always fascinating to look back upon. Plus the dressing room had better lighting, so pics would've been clearer. Gah...

As far as I know, there's another show on the 29th. Not sure how the show is evolving exactly, but it can't be too significant b/c that date is not so very far off. Also, Kiki (minus some of the dancers) is playing Asheville again, so that time will be shot, too. Unless... I go with, and the downtime is spent contemplating Kiki Evolution aka "Kiki Intelligent Design." hahaha. I'm funny. right.

I guess I also go out a lot, too. Last week: something sunday?, Metal Monday, Thursday night Ward show, Friday night Bill and Nathan gig, Saturday night Carbon Leaf at the Windjammer. Good times, especially the first three shows.

(Oddly enough, the show that cost the most, the CL one, was the least fun. I suffer from "Non-Charleston Band Disenchantment" -- I'm too close to the scene to experience the magic of a rock show that doesn't include someone I know. Or at least, in that case. Maybe it just wasn't a rockin show... also a possibility. But Carbon Leaf was sooo good last year when they opened for Guster! it was odd... I hope I can enjoy other shows still. It could've definitely been the venue. Plus I was concentrating on how wicked cold I was the whole time, which could've also interfered with enjoying CL. We'll find out if I go to the Dick Prall show when I'm back in Chicagoland (if I stay that long).

I'm skipping town for a few days to load up my car w/ all the cool things that I couldn't fit on the way down (back in March) b/c of Kiki costumes and other various necessities. So that will be good, b/c I can miss the hurricane when it comes through here. I think I'm leaving early enough tomorrow that I should miss the rain 'n' stuff. I'm not ready to face a hurricane yet, not if I don't have to!