Yep, I'm still awake.

Gahhhh, I can't sleep anymore. I've been kind of sick since August or late July, and really sick for the past month. Apparently this is what happens to people with severe allergies who live in Charleston... and they run out of medication.

I am finally getting better. But not enough that I can sleep at night. I can't breathe. So between that and stressing out about never getting benefits at work, I have developed an odd case of insomnia. The kind that when I finally fall asleep (4-5, usually) I"ll sleep for 10-14 hrs. Not cool. I'm definitely still sick if I can sleep like that and not wake up.

But it sucks. There's nobody home, so I suppose I could clean or sew or do laundry. I'm a bit miffed that I have to be home (instead of at the doctor's) to let the floor guys in tomorrow morning. I probably shouldn't be driving anyhow, though, it's supposed to flood downtown. With my luck, I'd come back from Mt. P. and have no way to reach my house b/c the Crosstown would be flooded or something.

Work hours have dwindled to about 10-15 hours a week. Which is very bad, b/c this is my only job. I"m hanging on for the time when I get benefits and thusly more hours, but for now this is ridiculous. Or I'd totally be cool working at Starbucks b/c they have benefits & stock options. I'm gonna go nuts w/ all this time on my hands. I'm still trying to get to a point where I can make money off my art or busking or something. I don't know what I"m waiting for. Maybe when I can live in an organized environment? I don't know!! It's impossible to find what I'm looking for in terms of furniture, so I can have storage and a clean room and a clear head. Boooo.

I'm complaining a lot. Life isn't bad. It's not really bad at all. I've got fantastic friends, a job I enjoy, a hot and amazing boyfriend, and I live in a beautiful city. I just feel stuck. Stuck w/ not enough work and not enough storage and not enough allergy medication to function as a human. Sounds like much of this would be remedied by the benefits at work: more hours, more money to afford nice furniture, and allergy meds! I suppose it'll happen eventually. My mom thinks I should hold on and not look for another job, b/c who's to say that at the next job they won't be like, "Sure, you can have benefits," and then turn around and be like, "Welllll, we can't do it right now.... but someday. we don't know when," like the current situation. and this is true. I must learn to be patient and not be such a pathetic example of the typical American who wants instant gratification.

But some cool things have happened via Myspaceness (www.myspace.com/eponinelisette): I talked to Nicci, who I haven't talked to in years. We were friends in high school, and haven't really talked since then. She was a senior when I was a freshman, but we got along well. So that was awesome to talk to her. I've found other ppl from high school too, the few folks I actually liked...(And sadly, Mike from IWU doesn't email me back anymore. I hope he's okay. I sent him and his brother a "happy birthday" email, too, but nothing back. ) I found Charles and Joy and Cecil myspace too. Rock.

Oooooh, and I totally got checked out at O'Hara and Flynn's on Saturday. I wasn't even dressed cool. I was wearing my Talbots black cardigan and black pants and gym shoes, all tied together with a scarf that has skulls and hearts on it. (Thank you Taylor!) It was an ego boost, b/c I've been feeling unattractive and blob-like (probably b/c I feel sick. You know how that goes.)

Well, it's four o'clock in the morning. I'll try and sleep, but most likely end up just doing something around the house, b/c I'm very awake right now. Boo.