Back from Asheville
Woo. Yesterday, after a six hour (instead of a four) drive, me and a couple of Kikis got back from visiting the rest of Cabaret Kiki band in Kiki: The Ballet Edition w/ Terpsicorps Dance Theatre in Asheville. I'm still kinda wiped. A ridiculous amount of fun crammed into about 2 days. Plus, I drove 3/4 of the time, and that's tiring.
But wow. I'd never been to a-ville before, and it's pretty cool, like maybe Paris and San Francisco combined and moved to a mountaintop -- but I've never been to either, so it's a guess based off others' comments and my minimal knowledge. Defintitely a hippie vibe, lots of organic food. Like on the radio, there was a "win a t-shirt" thing and they specified and stressed the fact that the tee was 100% organic cotton. Certainly different from Charleston, and on the other side of the spectrum from Cedartucky. Lots of buskers, too, which was really neat.
Kiki done by Terpsicorps was waaay different. My costumes mostly weren't used. Some of the band wore my stuff, others do their own adaptations, nothing out of the ordinary in that respect. But the dancer costumes were clearly inspired by mine but skimpier and w/ lycra and sparkles. I could see my concepts, but they were not mine. I didn't feel like it was my show. :( It was amazing, don't get me wrong, but I felt pretty far removed from it and it sucked when people were like, "this and this and this costume were better." I designed that show from 800 miles away and without even hearing all the music, let alone seeing any choreography. I think I did damn good, considering the circumstances. I loved how it turned out. I'd made a conscious decision in my designs to have elegant costumes that were suggestive perhaps, but didn't show a ton of skin. I didn't know who was comfortable wearing what (I'd not met anyone, remember I was on the other side of the country), and it's also my personal opinion that covering the body and hinting at what's underneath is sexier than leaving little to the imagination.
Yet in Asheville, the choreographer/designer had a springboard: she'd done some of the choreography, heard all the music, seen rehearsals, seen our production, and seen what I'd done with the costumes. It's easier to improve upon things than to come up with them from scratch. Or that's what I tell myself.
I feel that in some capacities I failed. Like I should've thought to not do a gown for the Mighty Hermaphrodite. I always wanted a gown, but it would've read better on stage if it were more of a clear difference like in the Ballet Kiki... I guess that was the thing that bothered me most. The other designs, I mostly saw where she was going with things and it was similar to my stuff. The half/half costume was always the most challenging part of the show-- I knew it would be from the start. Fortunately, I had a brilliant cutter/draper/tech extraordinaire to help me to achieve my vision. Unfortunately, I'm not a wig tech and it was a struggle for me until Kerri, a fabulous hair goddess stepped in and saved the day. I was so glad to have her around. I knew what I wanted but lacked the knowledge to reach the final result.
It's stupid, but it really bothers me. I feel like everyone liked the Ballet Kiki costumes better than mine, and that's sad b/c what do I have then? If Heather designs/choreographs and does everything, she has that. I don't have designing then if a choreographer is better than me. I don't have singing -- who cares about operetta, no one cares if I can sing that. Regular singing -- well, let's just say my friends are the most unbelievably talented folks I've met.
I'm just feeling insecure now. Like, everyone else has their area that they're extraordinarily talented in, and I can't hold a candle to it. What am I good at? I don't even know anymore. Jack (Jill?) of all trades, master of none, perhaps.
I didn't feel like this earlier, but as I've been writing this, it's made me sad.
I should be happy. I've got a new job starting on Wednesday. I'm finally painting (still!) my room so I can feel settled. I live in a beautiful city w/ amazing friends. yet I'm not happy right now. alas. maybe tomorrow. maybe this melancholy will lift as quickly as it rolled in...
encouragement is appreciated. good night.
But wow. I'd never been to a-ville before, and it's pretty cool, like maybe Paris and San Francisco combined and moved to a mountaintop -- but I've never been to either, so it's a guess based off others' comments and my minimal knowledge. Defintitely a hippie vibe, lots of organic food. Like on the radio, there was a "win a t-shirt" thing and they specified and stressed the fact that the tee was 100% organic cotton. Certainly different from Charleston, and on the other side of the spectrum from Cedartucky. Lots of buskers, too, which was really neat.
Kiki done by Terpsicorps was waaay different. My costumes mostly weren't used. Some of the band wore my stuff, others do their own adaptations, nothing out of the ordinary in that respect. But the dancer costumes were clearly inspired by mine but skimpier and w/ lycra and sparkles. I could see my concepts, but they were not mine. I didn't feel like it was my show. :( It was amazing, don't get me wrong, but I felt pretty far removed from it and it sucked when people were like, "this and this and this costume were better." I designed that show from 800 miles away and without even hearing all the music, let alone seeing any choreography. I think I did damn good, considering the circumstances. I loved how it turned out. I'd made a conscious decision in my designs to have elegant costumes that were suggestive perhaps, but didn't show a ton of skin. I didn't know who was comfortable wearing what (I'd not met anyone, remember I was on the other side of the country), and it's also my personal opinion that covering the body and hinting at what's underneath is sexier than leaving little to the imagination.
Yet in Asheville, the choreographer/designer had a springboard: she'd done some of the choreography, heard all the music, seen rehearsals, seen our production, and seen what I'd done with the costumes. It's easier to improve upon things than to come up with them from scratch. Or that's what I tell myself.
I feel that in some capacities I failed. Like I should've thought to not do a gown for the Mighty Hermaphrodite. I always wanted a gown, but it would've read better on stage if it were more of a clear difference like in the Ballet Kiki... I guess that was the thing that bothered me most. The other designs, I mostly saw where she was going with things and it was similar to my stuff. The half/half costume was always the most challenging part of the show-- I knew it would be from the start. Fortunately, I had a brilliant cutter/draper/tech extraordinaire to help me to achieve my vision. Unfortunately, I'm not a wig tech and it was a struggle for me until Kerri, a fabulous hair goddess stepped in and saved the day. I was so glad to have her around. I knew what I wanted but lacked the knowledge to reach the final result.
It's stupid, but it really bothers me. I feel like everyone liked the Ballet Kiki costumes better than mine, and that's sad b/c what do I have then? If Heather designs/choreographs and does everything, she has that. I don't have designing then if a choreographer is better than me. I don't have singing -- who cares about operetta, no one cares if I can sing that. Regular singing -- well, let's just say my friends are the most unbelievably talented folks I've met.
I'm just feeling insecure now. Like, everyone else has their area that they're extraordinarily talented in, and I can't hold a candle to it. What am I good at? I don't even know anymore. Jack (Jill?) of all trades, master of none, perhaps.
I didn't feel like this earlier, but as I've been writing this, it's made me sad.
I should be happy. I've got a new job starting on Wednesday. I'm finally painting (still!) my room so I can feel settled. I live in a beautiful city w/ amazing friends. yet I'm not happy right now. alas. maybe tomorrow. maybe this melancholy will lift as quickly as it rolled in...
encouragement is appreciated. good night.
posted by EponineLisette @ 10:22 PM
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